Look Before You Jump,
The Bartender Babe Chronicles
by D. A. Bale
When scandal comes calling and Vicki leaps into the fray, you know it’s gonna be big. This here’s Texas after all.
Meet Victoria Bohanan, a twenty-six year-old Dallas debutante turned bartender babe who rejected her father’s saintly sinner ways and struck out on her own – well, sort of. Her mom’s credit card comes to the rescue on occasion, but Vicki is still her own woman, with less than lusty – er, lofty – aspirations and a mind constantly limping from the gutter.
But Texas moms don’t raise fools. Vicki will earn that twenty-dollar tip by guessing the mistress’ name and your favorite drink faster than you can belly up to the bar. That sharp wit has gotten her out of more than one disastrous situation – until the mouth sinks her right into another.
When an old high school flame returns to town with a pregnant wife in tow and a pastorate position lodged under his belt, life quickly becomes tangled. This time we’re not talking between the sheets. Sooner than Vicki can down a shot of Jack, her former boy toy is embroiled in scandal that threatens to implode the megachurch his parents built – and send the gossiping gaggle into a tailspin faster than a quarterback sack on Sunday.
Join the fun in book one of the Bartender Babe Chronicles. Light on mystery and long on – well, you know.
Life prepared to teach me lessons. And for a hard-headed, smart-mouthed woman with a Texas-sized attitude only a mother could love, I had to learn them the hard way.
It was time to swear off men. Become a nun - well that was out of the equation. I'd long ago relinquished virgin status. But if they could reconstitute orange juice, why could I become a reconstituted virgin?
The closest Janine has come to losing her virginity was when she hit an enormous pothole while riding our bikes when we were twelve. If her mother had her way, Janine would still be a virgin even after her wedding night.
The plaster coating of make-up on Lorraine's face threatened to splinter and crack around the Botox smile.
One thing I love about Texas is that the speed limit is more a suggestion than an actual ticketed offense.
The blush brightened Janine's face so fast, a bystander flying past the window might've mistaken it for a hot flash.
That hit my intimacy radar faster than a politician denying his latest scandal.
This book was a delight from start to finish. I savored the clever and snarky humor, amusing insights, and observational humor. The premise was fresh, the writing was crisp, and the story was well paced and endlessly entertaining. Ms. Bale's characters were realistically drawn in the cartoonish kind of way that overly entitled, snobbish, and hypocritical people generally appear to be. I adored everything about socially and physically awkward Vicki and her tendencies toward foot-in-mouth disease, and I have high hopes and aspirations for hunky Zeke as well. Ms. Bale's tale was perfectly balanced with humor, intrigue, greed, snoopiness, scandal, gossip, mystery, death, cartel involvement, mean girls, stakeouts, and handsome ex-boyfriends. She kept me guessing to the end. I am beyond ecstatic that I already have the next book in the series waiting for me on my kindle.
About The Author
Sometimes life emulates fiction.
Life is filled with tragedy and Ms. Bale's writing reflects this reality. However, there is always a silver lining...even if one must spend their entire life searching for it.
In her previous career, Ms. Bale traveled the United States as a Government Relations Liaison, working closely with Congressional offices and various government agencies. This experience afforded her a glimpse into the sometimes "not so pretty" reality of the political sphere. Much of this reality and various locations throughout her travels make it into her writing.
She dreams of the day she can return to visit Alaska.