Monday, April 18, 2016

Book Review: The Big O by HJ Bellus


  The Big O

by HJ Bellus

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The ocean...October, outdoors, orange... All O's that sneaky damn letter. 



I need the O. Crave the O, even dream about the bastard. 

My name is Olivia and this is my virgin diary. Yep, at the ripe age of 24 I'm single and O-less. And to top it all off, with a shiny cherry, I'm a first grade teacher. 

Not much hope meeting Prince Charming in my workplace. 

I live with my hyper Yorkie and wild imagination. And I despise the letter O. 

Follow Olivia Olander in her wild and hysterical journey as she hunts down the elusive O. 

She may hate the obscure O now, but Officer Oren O'Brien hasn't lit up her world. 

Will Olivia ever learn to love the O or be cursed with its lingering presence the rest of her life? 

Find out in the virgin diaries



My Rating:


Favorite Quotes:


“Dad even eventually got comfortable with buying feminine products and used auto parts to give me the birds and the bees talk… I cringed and I do believe my ovaries even sent Hail Marys to Jesus that day in the shop.”

“You keep moaning like your belly hurts, Ms. Olander like there’s a bad poop built up in you.”

“‘Headlights, Miss Olander.’  I pry my gaze away from the sexiest ass on the planet to see Kane with both his pointer fingers sprung out from his chest and his little eyebrows waggling at high speed.”

“I think I fell harder for you when I found out you fart louder than me.”

“Forgiveness is a funny creature.  It takes courage to even step in the direction of it and even more strength to walk the path.”

My Review:


The book was off the charts delightful and naughty fun - and just so happens to be my favorite type of book to read.  Minimal angst, lovable characters, highly amusing and clever humor, witty banter, a sweet love story, and lots of delicious steam.  Nirvana!  I barked, snorted, and laughed aloud so hard I had to stop reading to wipe my eyes.  Olivia is a hot mess of awkward, nerdy, twenty something virgin and first grade teacher who is, of course, most proud of her uncannily observant and naughty students.  I thought I might need CPR while reading Chapter 12 when the main character was caught unawares during an embarrassing bout of flatulence in which her new crush witnessed her “ripping a world record fart.”  The characters were endearing, smart, hilarious, and good to and for each other.  I adored Olivia and Owen as a couple and their sweet and sexy blossoming romance made my heart sing.  Ms. Bellus’s writing was crisp, observant, irreverent, insightful, and highly enjoyable.  This was my virgin voyage with this author and I have but one word for her – more!  I will be fan-girling her hard.


Empress DJ





About the Author:

I am an independent author excited about releasing my first novel very soon. A big dream coming true!!! I'm all country...the kinda country where green grass grows and corn pops up in rows....love Miranda and her bad ass music!!! Just a simple country girl getting one story out of her head at a time...I always fall hard for a trucker style hat...especially if it's a John Deere hat....loves me a good ol' farm boy!!!!!!



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